When Choosing Yourself Feels Heavy: A Journal on People-Pleasing and Liberation

Somewhere along the way, you start saying “yes” to yourself. You pause before jumping in to help. You don’t offer an apology for having a boundary.

You stop over-explaining.

And while part of you thought it’d feel like freedom… another part?

Feels unsettled. Lonely, even. A little guilty. Like you’re doing something wrong.

This post is for that part.

Last week on the podcast, I talked about anti-hustle as a practice of worthiness.

This week, I’m diving into what often comes next: the unraveling of people-pleasing. Because choosing authenticity after a lifetime of being agreeable, easygoing, adaptable… doesn’t always feel like clarity and confidence.

Sometimes, it feels like grief (but we'll save that for the next episode).

*Internal Screaming*

It’s not just a mindset shift. People-pleasing is often a deep nervous system strategy

People-pleasing is something you learned to keep the peace, gain approval, or avoid conflict. Your body wired itself for safety through being liked, helpful, and needed.

So when you start saying no… or not rushing to make others comfortable… your body might panic a little. You might second-guess yourself.

You might mourn who you were, because that version of you knew how to belong.

But here’s what I want you to know: that discomfort doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re in the messy middle—between who you’ve been and who you’re becoming.

Authenticity isn’t always easy.

Sometimes, it’s shaky. Sometimes, it’s quiet. Sometimes, it’s choosing not to explain yourself and sitting with the awkward silence that follows.

But even if it feels like loss, it’s still liberation.

And I promise, with time, your nervous system will catch up to your truth.

In this week’s episode, “From People-Pleasing to Self-Liberation,” I unpack what this transition really looks like...through a healing-informed, compassionate lens.

I’ll share how to recognize people-pleasing in disguise, how to sit with the grief of change, and what it actually means to build a life that aligns with you.

If you’re navigating this shift, I hope this episode feels like a deep exhale.

🎧 Listen to the full episode: From People-Pleasing to Self-Liberation: Embracing Authenticity

Remember, growth often comes with growing pains. By acknowledging these feelings and continuing to honor your truth, you pave the way for deeper connections and a more fulfilling life.

Hugs,